Yup, that same old yoyo-ing weight issue…again! ::sigh::
I get it. The average human being is not free to neglect and ignore their food choices and expect to stay at a healthy weight. And I get it…I’m no different.
I knew when I had my weight-loss surgery that it was not a cure. I knew that – unlike what many people think – I still would not be free to eat whatever I want for the rest of my life. I knew that the surgery was only a reset and management tool. Which is exactly why the good weight loss surgery doctors employ nutritional guides and recommend psychological support.
I also knew that some re-gain was almost a given. But I also understand, as a life coach, and an educated person, that the re-gain situation was in my control. I could choose to regain or not.
I know using this word is a contentious thing in the weight loss community. Some consider it a form of fat-shaming. It’s a thin line between expecting someone to take responsibility for their actions and blaming them for their health issues.
We now know obesity is a complicated disease. We know that in our society we have a ton (no pun intended) of help to become obese. We know there are genetic, psychological and medical factors that come into play. No one is an island. No one becomes obese overnight. And very few North Americans will go their whole life never having experienced some unwanted weight gain. There’s no shame in being human.
But wait…if we say we don’t choose to be obese, we are saying we have no power over it. And the first step in any 12 step problem is to admit we are powerless over our problem, isn’t it?
Yes, but, almost paradoxically, this is exactly how we learn to gain power over it. We admit we don’t presently have the ability or tools. And by doing so we allow the tools into our life, and learn to embrace the power.
When I say, I choose to gain weight, it gives me the power to say, I can also choose not to gain.
In my case, the regain range is 5lbs. I yo-yo within a range that is acceptable from a weight loss success standard. I chose that goal, and it might sound like a miniscule amount, but I’m such a pixie-sized woman that I notice those 5lbs without the scale.
I wish I didn’t have to weigh myself almost everyday. I wish my weight stayed stable. I wish I didn’t have to struggle with food decisions every single day! However, I’m not fortunate that way. Perhaps if I allowed myself to gain 10 or 15lbs my body would settle there. There’s so much we don’t understand yet about set points and metabolism. But, no one can say, and I’m not willing to risk the experiment. I live in terror of being obese again. I probably always will. And it’s likely one of the biggest factors in keeping my weight in control 4 years after surgery.
What we do know now is that sugar and refined carbs are drugs that destroy our bodies and change our brains. Playing with sugar is pretty much like playing with alcohol or drugs. It’s a fine line between the occasional indulgence and addiction.
So, here’s the hard truth, like it or not: I can’t indulge my food addictions and expect to effortlessly remain a healthy stable weight. Period.
If I want to indulge, then I must monitor its effect on my body constantly. That’s the adult thing to do. And that’s what I should learn to live with…because it’s unlikely I’ll never eat popcorn or savour a Starbucks Peppermint Mocha ever again.
::pulling up my big girl non-plus-sized panties::
I shall yo-yo…and I shall survive.